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As much as you go to lengths to avoid it, there will always be some awkwardness that comes with bringing a new member into your home. While this tension or awkwardness may last a few days, bonding with your child and getting to know them on a more personal level can bring a more relaxed relationship and peaceful feeling within your home. Here are 5 easy bonding activities that you and your child can do, or your child and their new siblings can do to get to know each other and bond.
1. Sit Down and Talk
Yep, it’s that simple. If your child is open to having a conversation with you, take some time to get to know them. A one-on-one conversation in a comfy, safe place within your home or a neutral space like a cafe or coffee shop can make your child feel safe, heard, and welcomed into your family. Whether your child is with you for a week or for a year, it is so important for them to feel like they are in a place where they are known. Some children who have experienced trauma or negativity in previous homes may not be open to an initial conversation, but it is a helpful first step in initiating bonding.
2. Discuss Favorites
When you can get a kid talking about something they love, you may have to clear hours out of your schedule just for that conversation. Whether it’s a favorite movie, tv-show, book series, cartoon character or sport, learning about your kid’s favorite things and taking interest in them can form a sweet bond between parents and children or children and their siblings. Sweet surprises of a favorite movie on movie night or a plush toy of a kid’s favorite character can really help the bond from as well.
3. Get Creative
If your child is more creative or seems to work better with drawing rather than talking, have an art party. Break out the Crayola markers and tempera paint and get to work on a posterboard or smaller sheets of craft paper. Sometimes, kids tell stories with the drawings they create, and if that isn’t the case with your family, spending time with your child doing an activity that they enjoy will help the two of you bond over shared interests and quality time.
4. Get Active
Younger kids and teenagers alike have pent up energy that they will need to get out at some point or another. Go outside and play ball, organize a scavenger hunt that all the kids can participate in, follow a fun fitness video, or just put on some music and dance around. If your child is hesitant at first, let them know that they are safe with you and start with a short walk around the neighborhood on a sunny day. Nature walks especially provide a good space to talk without any pressure and provide lots of distractions if your child isn’t necessarily ready to open up yet.
5. Write Letters
Every child is different; some may be open to sharing right away and some may take a while to warm up to you and your family. A great way to communicate is through writing. Get a small journal and a pack of pens from any school supply store, and let your child know that anything they want to tell you can be written in the book and you will respond in the book as well. This will help children open up if they are worried about judgment, awkward conversations, or confrontation, and will make communication a lot more comfortable for them. This is a method of communication that parents can put into place even for their own biological children, and many parents have seen it’s positive effects on parent/child communication.
Becoming a resource parent and bringing a child into your home is not easy. There will be bumps in the road no matter what, and that is perfectly okay. It is best to equip yourself with the tools to handle a bumpy ride and come out the other side stronger, whether it be journaling, dance parties, or art. Bonding with your child can be an obstacle you have to overcome, but it will be worth it for both of you in the end.
