Halloween Tips for Foster Parents

It can be really easy to be excited to share our favorite holiday traditions with our kids. Unfortunately, as foster parents, our kids might not have the same enthusiasm for certain holidays or even for celebrating in general as we do. 

While Halloween is– for most of us– a fun, spooky day of sweets and treats, for some children, the holiday is truly frightening. Some imagery can trigger kids from the youngest to the oldest among them. For others, the loss of traditions and family ties might creep up with the holiday. For others, they may never have understood the fun of the day. Regardless of where your child stands on Halloween, we’ve got a few tips for making the best of the day

Involve their Traditions

A great way to connect with your child on Halloween is to involve traditions they love. If your child grew up celebrating Dis De Los Muertos or always went to a certain neighborhood to trick-or-treat, consider incorporating those traditions into your own. If your child grew up not celebrating the day and maybe feels uncomfortable doing so, consider finding ways to celebrate that feel safe. Stay at home and make caramel apples, invite some friends over for cookie decorating, and watch It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, or simply carve pumpkins and eat pizza! Communicating that your kids and their traditions and safety are the best ways of bonding with them.

Keep Safety At The Forefront

A lot of imagery around Halloween–weapons, masks, gore, etc.– can be extremely hard for some children, and that’s okay! Your kids are going to face a lot of things in life that scare them. Your job is to remind them that they are safe and brave, and that you have their backs. A great way to do this is by running through safety rules for Halloween. If your child doesn’t do well in crowded or dark environments, go earlier or to a less packed neighborhood for trick-or-treating. Make sure they have glowsticks and/or reflective tape so they’re easy to spot, and keep a flashlight handy for some added security. Make sure they know the rules about approaching houses, holding hands, and checking candy before they eat it. For older kids and teens, if they’ll be at friends’ houses or parties, make sure they know what the expectations are and that you’ve been in communication with other parents. Kids are going to be kids, but it’s always a good idea to refresh their memories on the consequences of unacceptable behavior. 

Skip the Masks

Dressing up is definitely one of the best parts of Halloween, but for kids with trauma, those costumes can be a source of fear. Masks, in particular, can set off a fear response– even the goofy ones. It’s incredibly hard for some young kids to understand someone wearing a face that isn’t their own. We suggest that your family skip the masks for the time being. While you can’t control the costumes of those who come to your door, making sure your immediate and any extended family you’ll be seeing know there will be no masks allowed greatly reduces the risk of alarming your child. In fact, a great and creative alternative is face paint. Whether you get elaborate or keep it simple, face paint allows for all the fun of dressing up without the mask.

Be Inclusive

Over the past few years, making Halloween a more inclusive holiday has become easier than ever. From the teal pumpkins to alert those of a child with autism and allergy-free treats to sensory-friendly costumes, it’s gotten much easier to ensure every kid has a fun time on Halloween. If your child falls into one of those camps, lean into it. Adjust your expectations for the holiday and choose their comfort above all else. It’s impossible to shield our kids from everything, but supporting their needs will help them face those challenges ahead. Bonus Tip: If you do have a child with special needs and are staying home for the evening, look for ways to support other children with special needs who are out for the night. Make a clear display that informs Trick-or-treaters your treats are sensory or allergy friendly, or keep the outdoor decorations to a minimum to create a more welcoming environment.

Track ‘Em

For older kids or teens who might be going off on their own, a great resource is apps that allow you to see their location. Life360, location sharing, and other apps allow both users to track the others who share their location freely. Some of these apps even allow you to lock the app with a password so your tech-savvy youth can’t alter or turn off the location tracking. While this might feel like an invasion of privacy for some kids, for others, it’s a necessary safety precaution. You’re the parent, remember, and it’s your job to keep those kiddos safe. Checking in regularly might not win them any cool points, but it will mean they stay out of shenanigans that could have long-lasting effects.

Halloween should be a time of fun, laughter, and too much chocolate, but we know that there are always complications for every child and family. The key is: Don’t Overthink it! Do your best to make this Holiday a fun and memorable one, and help your child navigate any difficult emotions or challenges that arise because of it. Do what’s best for your kids and your family; you’re already doing your best. 

Happy Halloween from Kamali’i!