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This May, think of how to inspire confidence in your teen for National Teen Self-Esteem Month! When you look back on your days as a teenager, what do you remember most? For most of us either smile sheepishly at our past actions or sigh, knowing we could have made a better or mature decision at the time. But, regardless of our reaction, there is one collective truth we can agree on: our self-esteem as a teenager was a struggle.
Navigating the experience of developing one’s self-esteem as a teenager is a difficult task. At that age, we want to be adults already, exercising our independence but are still confined because we are technically still children. Yet, many of our firsts happen as teenagers, when we begin to develop our personalities and interests and question where we fit in this complicated world.
Besides being National Foster Care Awareness Month and a wonderful opportunity to spotlight the importance of a foster family agency, May is also National Teen Self-Esteem Month. This month is dedicated to highlighting the self-esteem issues of teens and bringing attention to how we can bring more positivity to their environments and guide them in a direction that nurtures a healthy mindset and perspective on themselves that creates the foundation of their self-esteem.
Here are ways you can inspire confidence in your teen for National Teen Self-Esteem Month:
Before we can empower others–especially teenagers–we need to reflect on our experiences at their age to once again have empathy for the struggles a teen faces. What were the main challenges you faced transitioning from middle school into high school? Once you identify a couple of them, ask your teen if they are willing to hear about the insight you hope to share.
When we’re teenagers, we’re more susceptible to putting value into the opinions of others besides ourselves sometimes–that’s because we’re still learning how to define ourselves. We want to fit in with the crowd and not feel like an outsider! Truthfully, however, your teen should focus on building their character, being proud of the person they are, and looking forward to growth and change. So, the next time you compliment or validate your teen, remind them of their strengths and unique abilities; they have something valuable and meaningful to contribute to the world! Of course, they might not know what those contributions are just yet, but it’s crucial to reiterate that their potential is limitless, and you’re excited to see what they will do! Don’t give them any room to doubt themselves.
Speaking up about one’s struggles is a skill that takes time to develop, mainly because being vulnerable is an uncomfortable experience in and of itself. When a quiet moment happens in the day or if you find yourself concerned about the challenges your teen will face–such as transitioning into life outside local fostering agencies, be honest and tell them you want to have a conversation with them. Although you can’t force anyone to have a conversation with you, it’s important to remember that you need to create and nurture a safe space for your teen to be vulnerable with you in the first place; don’t surprise them with the request out of the blue or demand them to speak with you. They will come to you when they’re ready.
Although we spend our whole lives learning about ourselves, encourage your teen to explore their interests and how those things reflect on their self-expression and identity. Allow them to go through their phases and get a feel for what makes them feel most comfortable in their skin! However, keep in mind that they should do so in a way that is safe and does not put them in any danger. There’s a difference between exploring one’s interests and going along with a crowd that won’t affect them positively and healthily in the long run.
Like every other human being in this world, your teen is susceptible to making mistakes and accidentally hurting themselves and other people. Rather than approaching these events as harmful or detrimental, frame the narrative around how they should set their eyes on improving themselves rather than dwelling in a headspace of self-blame. As a parent, whether we like to admit it or not, we are responsible for the foundation of our child’s self-esteem. We carry other people’s perspectives with us throughout our lives, and those become the perspectives and voices that we believe define us and become our narratives of self-talk. Make the goal to be a nurturing, comforting, and encouraging voice in your teen’s mind! After all, you say “I foster to help children and teens become successful in society!”.