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Being a resource parent can be hard, but fostering a child during the holidays brings on a whole new set of obstacles and challenges that you’ll have to overcome. It’s a difficult subject to broach as a family because the child will want to feel included in your family’s holiday traditions, but they may also still feel an attachment to their biological family and may spend the holiday season missing their past traditions and celebrations. Despite the internal struggle, putting forth your best effort to keep your foster child feeling loved and included during this time could be the best gift you could possibly give them.
The holidays are meant to be a time of love, mostly familial. Remember that although you are giving your foster child as much love as you can, they are still separated from the people they once were the closest to. Your traditions are unfamiliar to them, and you may even celebrate different holidays than your foster child. Cultural differences tend to show themselves more during the holiday season, so set some time aside to let your foster child educate you on the way they celebrate their holidays and any traditions they may have. Doing so will make your child feel more at home.
Gifts are a sensitive topic as the holidays begin approaching. Some foster children will feel as if they’re receiving gifts out of obligation, or that because they were given gifts for the holidays, they owe something in return. On the flip side, a foster child not receiving gifts during the holidays while biological children and cousins do will make them feel even more alienated and excluded than they may already. Making it clear to your child that they are receiving gifts as a part of your family’s holiday traditions and take the opportunity to teach them about your family’s culture and traditions.
Often times, aged out or adopted ex-foster kids come forward and discuss the feelings of loneliness or loss they would experience during the holiday season. However, most of them remember the effort that their resource families put in during such a difficult time to try and make them feel as at home as possible. Despite the negative experience they may have had, what touched their hearts was the genuine care their resource parents had for them at the time.
There is no rule that says the holidays have to be hard with a foster child. This upcoming holiday season may be the merriest and brightest you’ve ever had. Go into this season with an open mind, an open heart, and open arms for your foster child or children as they live through this time.