How To Talk About Self-improvement With Your Child

Self-improvement is the deliberate action to better yourself as a human being in every aspect of your life; what’s more, tackling how to talk about self-improvement with your child is also a challenge worth taking. 

But no matter your age, there’s always room to make an effort for self-improvement because it dictates our overall quality of living and helps us become the people we want to be in the future, after being in a foster family agency. 

Although children don’t need to worry about the responsibilities and complexities of adulthood just yet, starting a conversation about self-improvement will benefit them in the long run and help them during their time being in our Independent Living Program in Riverside County.

Therefore, start small when approaching this broad topic and think about the circumstances that are unique to your child: 

• Do they want to come out of their shell more?
• Do they want to earn better grades in school?
• Do they want to participate in fun activities they’re interested in but are hesitant?
• Do they want to embrace being themselves?

These are just a few examples of where children can begin to pursue self-improvement because they all involve wanting to challenge themselves, succeed in accomplishing a goal, and taking the chance to do something new. These are all results of deliberate action to better oneself.

Create an open dialogue about self-improvement with your child by sharing the lessons below: 

Tell yourself and others the truth, even if it’s scary. 

Telling the truth is scary, especially when children know consequences are involved. However, teaching your child early on that being honest with themselves is a positive action helps them own up to areas they can improve without self-judgment and develop a clearer path for their future and the things they want in life. When children can be honest with themselves and others, everything they do moving forward will come from a place of integrity. They naturally will put their best foot forward because they will never have anything to hide. 

Think back on the past with intention and purpose–then, make a game plan moving forward.

Progress happens when your child can understand how and why they can move forward. Remind your child that reflecting on their past actions is meant to help them understand what they could have done better in the first place. When we understand what held us back, we most likely won’t make the same mistakes again. 

Give yourself a pat on the back. 

Every time your child makes an effort in self-improvement, encourage them to give themselves a pat on the back. As a parent, acknowledge and validate the value of their actions too! The action, whether big or small, matters, such as taking a chance to overcome a fear or being honest to you when lying would have been easier. Self-improvement goes hand-in-hand with self-worth too, and it’s imperative for that to be recognized. As your child gets older, they will begin to understand and appreciate the significance of their progress and will carry that attitude with them into adulthood. 

Stay brave and strong when facing challenges.

Life has a tendency to throw us curve balls when we least expect it or break our hearts when we aren’t ready to open up to the world or others again. In these moments, your child needs to stay the strongest and hold their ground while rolling with the punches. Self-improvement is not a straightforward path, nor does it ever get easier. As such, assure your child that although they cannot control every challenge they face, they have the choice to either overcome them or accept defeat. At the end of the day, their most valuable tool is autonomy. 

Forgive yourself for making mistakes and taking steps back.

An obstacle that comes with pursuing self-improvement is falling down the hole of perfectionism when you’re on a streak of succeeding in your accomplishments. Emphasize to your child that imperfections and shortcomings are a part of their humanity and the self-improvement progress, rather than parts of themselves that make them feel ashamed. They can’t do everything correctly on the first try–and that’s okay; mistakes and taking steps back do not devalue their self-worth or effort in any way. Sometimes, the best lessons we learn in life are from our failures and mistakes, and at the end of the day, we become better people because of them. 

Always look forward to the future! There’s so much more to come. 

Last but not least, remind your child often that there is so much to look forward to in the future! The life they want to live is constantly happening, even if they cannot achieve all their goals at once. They are the ones who determine the quality of their life, regardless of where they come from, whether that be Riverside foster care or somewhere else. Your child has been making deliberate efforts from the start, and because of that, everything is going to be okay and maybe, even better than they expected.