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New Year’s Resolutions for Resource Parents

Holiday presents

Being a parent is definitely a lot of work, and being a resource parent is a whole other ball game. We know how difficult it can be, and how hard you work every single day to change your children’s lives for the better. If you’re looking for ways to brighten up your family’s lives and change up some old habits, we have a few resolution ideas you might enjoy!

1. Say “No” More Often

As parents, it may seem like you hear “I want”, “I need”, and “Everybody else has/does it” more than you hear “I love you”, but don’t let that overwhelm you. This year, focus your energy on saying “No…AND”. Be empathetic to the child’s needs before giving them a harsh “no”. Give more reasoning to help the child understand your rationale. Look into alternatives or compromises. Saying “No, and…” will only encourage a more open family discussion, dissuade tantrums, and foster collaborative communication skills.

2. Worry Less!

Take a deep breath! We know we’re suggesting a lot with this one, but getting worked up as a parent only tends to make difficult situations even harder for everyone. Of course, keeping your children safe always is and should be your number one priority, but it’s okay to loosen the reins and allow them some freedom as they get older. This year, channel your energy into a more productive outlet, and don’t let your large or small worries drive your life! Take care of yourself and the things you can control while providing ways for your children to safely explore the world around them.

3. Let a Few Things Slide

Kids fight. They argue. As they get older, they will be able to work it out themselves! Don’t allow yourself as a parent to get caught up in the dramas that your little ones create for themselves. As they begin to develop social skills and communication techniques they will learn how to work out conflicts on their own, without input from authority figures. So let a few petty arguments and disagreements slide this year as your children learn to independently resolve disagreements.

4. Listen First, Talk Second

As your children have grown up, they have developed their own voices, personalities, wants, and needs. It may be difficult to accept at first, but the best way to let your child grow into themselves is to take a step back and let them communicate with you. Instead of telling them what they need (i.e. “You need a nap” or “You need to eat” when they are feeling grumpy) try asking them to identify their feelings (i.e. “What would make you feel better right now?” or “What should I do to help you feel better?”). Listening to them explain what they are feeling before jumping to conclusions will help your child develop a better sense of self and begin to recognize early signs of emotions like hunger, tiredness, and frustration.

5. Read More

Start a family book club, or if you’re feeling competitive, a family reading competition. Reading has become nearly obsolete in a world of Netflix, Podcasts, and YouTube entertainment, but this classic pastime could greatly improve your quality of life! Not only that, but reading is a great way to spend quality time as a family without technology at the center. Reading with your child, and in front of your child, will also help them grow as readers.

6. Say Goodbye to Perfection

Perfection is almost entirely unattainable, so give it up! Nobody has it all together, everyone just got really good at hiding their weaknesses. It’s not the end of the world if you occasionally have a hard time getting everyone out the door in time for school in the morning or church on Sundays! You can work towards goals like that in a healthy way, rather than beating yourself up about it!

7. Step Back From Social Media

Social media is the place where everyone likes to pretend they have it all together. As we enter this new year, keep in mind that social media is the best snapshots of everyone’s lives! It is time to stop comparing yourself to the aesthetically pleasing mommy bloggers who look like they live a life of filtered perfection. We promise you that they deal with screaming kids and explosive diapers too!

8. Expect More

Set new expectations for your kids and your family! Keep in mind that we aren’t aiming for perfection, but the new year is a perfect opportunity to set in place new boundaries, new rules, and new expectations. When we place limits and restrictions, we get the minimum, but when we expand our expectations, we may be pleasantly surprised with things like good behavior, responsibility, and manners!

9. Connect Better

Take a little more time this year to connect with your kids on a new level. Talk to them, human to human, and learn their interests, likes and dislikes, and aspirations. It may be strange to think about them in this way, but remember that they are their own little people, with huge personalities, big dreams, and minds of their own.

10. Laugh More!

Take more time to experience joy this year. Laugh at situations that may be uncomfortable, turn frustration into a good story, and strive to enjoy every moment. This past year was tough, but you made memories, hugged your children, and enjoyed moments of laughter and occasionally peace. Learn to make the best of every situation!

When it comes to parenting (especially resource parenting) some days will be more difficult than others. Remember that everything you do is so important and is changing your child’s life for the better. With the love, compassion, and nurturing you are providing your children—biological and foster alike—they will grow into lovely individuals. Happy New Year!

 
Kamali'i Foster Family Agency
Corporate Office:
Office Hours: Mon-Fri 9am-5pm
Riverside County Office
31772 Casino Drive, Suite B
Lake Elsinore, CA 92530
Voice (951) 674-9400
San Diego County Recruitment and Training Center:
Office Hours: By Appt. Only
145 Vallecitos de Oro, Suite 210
San Marcos, CA 92069
Voice (760) 761-4300