Resource Parenting and Social Media

It’s common for everyone to be on social media these days. Your grandma, your high school band teacher, and even your pastor are snapping selfies on Instagram and using Facebook to keep up with old friends. Even more prevalent on social media—teens. Even some younger kiddos are popping up on Instagram, with accounts run by their parents, to bypass the 13-year-old age requirement Instagram has. Having foster kids using social media can be a difficult subject to tackle, as everyone’s opinion on when younger people should be ‘allowed’ to join social media platforms vary greatly. Here are some general tips about how to cover this topic with your foster kids, or even your biological kids! 

Completely forbidding children from using social media may not be the best idea. The way that people stay connected now has completely changed. Social media may be the best outlet for your kids to keep connected with old friends, siblings, and others. Not allowing your teens on social media may isolate or alienate them from others their age. Allowing your kids, biological and fostered, to feel connected with other kids their age is so important, especially since a foster child may already feel distanced from their peers due to their living situation. 

While outlawing social media might not be the best solution, restrictions on social media are definitely helpful, especially when considering agency policies surrounding social media. To find out more information about your specific agencies’ policy, contact your caseworker or read up on the basic guidelines surrounding being a resource parent and what is and is not allowed on social media. Basic no-nos include anything that reveals a location, nonconsensual photos of foster care youth, full names or addresses, and messages that could be misinterpreted by others. Having a sit-down conversation with your child about the restrictions that are placed on their social media accounts is a good idea. Emphasize that they are for safety and are set in place by the agency to be enforced by you. Encourage your kids to start out with a private account and caution them from friending anybody they have not personally met. As long as the guidelines set in place by your agency are being followed, you’ll be okay! 

Even as a resource parent, you too will have to follow the same guidelines as your kids when it comes to social media. This means no photos that reveal your kid’s faces, no full names, addresses, locations, or messages that could be misconstrued by the wrong person. It is best to stay positive on social media and to highlight the good times and accomplishments of your kids. Try to avoid complaining, oversharing, or painting the journey of resource parenting in a bad light. While it may be tempting to share every bit of your adventure with resource parenting on Facebook, remember that it’s not just your life, it’s your child’s life too, and they may not want all of your college buddies and the moms from school to know their business. 

Social media is always an interesting topic of discussion because everyone’s opinion is so different from one another. When it comes to your foster kids however, there may already be guidelines set in place regarding how it should be used. Make sure to do your research and consider all of the potential benefits social media could have on your child!