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Like every parent, we’re sure you are well aware of the plethora of research about the dangers of screen time for your kiddos. Screen time has been shown to cause all sorts of emotional, developmental, social, and physical harm to children. From eye strain to obesity, attention issues to behavioral ones, screen time can sometimes feel like an easy target of blame for all your kid’s ills.
And here’s the thing, we’re not refuting the evidence! We all know that adults who spend hours in front of a computer screen suffer from similar issues, so why wouldn’t they affect our kids too? But let’s face it, a total ban on screen time isn’t realistic. In fact, there’s research to back that up!
It’s All About Balance.
In her book Raising a Screen-Smart Kid: Embrace the Good and Avoid the Bad in the Digital Age, author Juliana Miner says,
“If you think about screen time the way you think about nutrition, there’s like digital broccoli and digital ice cream. It really depends on what the child is using the screens for. For example, reading on an e-reader is definitely digital broccoli. And while you don’t want your kid to overdo it on broccoli because they’re going to have an upset stomach, the amount of broccoli that you’re going to allow them to eat every day is going to be far greater than the junk food right?”
We love this metaphor! The reality is we live in a digital world. Our kids are going to interact with screens in some way for the rest of their lives– in fact, probably in ways we can’t even imagine right now! But just like we teach our kids to eat balanced, healthy meals for their own good, we also should be teaching them to use those screens in a balanced, healthy way.
The other thing we love about this analogy is that it definitely makes us feel better! Just like the occasional pizza or dino nuggets aren’t going to kill our kids, neither is the occasional mindless tv show or iPad game. So take a breath, Mom and Dad! That screen time isn’t going to turn your kid’s brain to mush!
It Can Actually Be Good for You!
In October 2019, Oxford, Cardiff, and Cambridge Universities released a joint study showing that, in moderation, screen time can actually boost your social and emotional well-being. Obviously, this was before the 2020 pandemic happened, and our whole lives seemed to move online, so surely that was too much screen time, right? Well, maybe not!
In July 2020, Common Sense Media released a study that suggested that the focus should be less on the number of hours spent on a screen and rather on the content being consumed. We’re sure we’ve all witnessed the effects of doom scrolling late at night, watching endless tragic news stories, or getting caught up in the drama of a Facebook comments thread. We’ve talked to so many adults who have had to delete social media and limit their own screen time because the negativity was starting to get to them. Or how many of us have found ourselves in a bad headspace and then realized the only TV shows we’ve watched for three months are true crime documentaries? The kind of media we consume is actually more important than the number of hours we spend consuming it!
What’s interesting about the July 2020 study is that this study focused primarily on the effects of kids who had moved to online classrooms, or had online playdates, or played virtual games with other kids stuck at home. While kids still faced challenges, they were actually on par with the number of challenges children faced in person in similar settings. The study suggests that when used for learning or to create social bonds, screen time doesn’t negatively affect brain chemistry as much as we previously thought.
The Web Of Opportunity
What research is starting to show us is that not all screen time is created equal. It’s how we use it that matters most. As we mentioned above, screens hold a ton of power when used for learning to benefit our overall well-being. In fact, using screen time to learn about the world beyond our own has been proven to raise empathy in children. We’ve never had so much access to education about other countries and cultures, and when used to broaden our children’s world, we raise more globally-minded, kinder adults. There are also so many ways to give back to charities in your community and around the world. Screens can be an amazing tool for helping your kids learn to care about the world at large and be a part of changing the lives of people they’ll never meet.
But the technology itself is also beneficial. We’ve known for years that mastering technology adds to one’s self-esteem. And we’ve all had a parent/grandparent/co-worker who refused to learn how to open a PDF. Allowing our kids to keep up with technology helps keep their brains open to learning new skills. In fact, older adults who still make an effort to try and learn how to use new technology are at a lower risk of dementia, Alzheimer’s, and even heart disease! Not only that but for young children, using screens can help them develop fine motor skills and prepare for the classroom, and many educational games help encourage critical thinking skills and develop creativity.
Follow Your Gut And Don’t Beat Yourself Up!
We hate to break it to ya, but no one is a perfect parent. We know; we’re devastated too. But just because you aren’t perfect doesn’t mean you aren’t an amazing parent! So if you sometimes let your kids have extra screen time so you can take a shower or get dinner going, or get five minutes to connect with your partner, you’re doing a good job. There’s no need to feel guilty about using what works for you and your family.
And at the end of the day, that’s our hope for you; that you listen to your own gut, follow your values as a family, and do what’s best for yourself and your kids. Sometimes that means using a screen as a babysitter, and we promise your kids will be just fine!
