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Making the decision to bring a foster child into your home is not an easy one. It involves a lot of discussions, planning, and then—fear. This is a huge change, and while it will be one that is exciting, fun and could potentially make a huge difference in a child’s life, it’s also scary, like any huge change is.
The anxiety that comes with becoming a resource family is hard to avoid. Millions of questions will run through your mind up to the very moment you bring them into your home, and that is 1000% okay. Both you and the child you’ll be fostering have no idea what will come next, and you’re probably experiencing similar emotions during this process.
Try to get to know your foster child. Find out what they like, what they dislike, and who they are. Expect them not to tell you everything at first, and they may have their guard up or be scared. You may not even get all the information from the foster agent who drops the child off. There are rules in place to protect the biological parents of these kids, and the agent might not even know the whole story themselves. Just try to get to know the child as a kid with interests and favorite things, instead of as a ‘foster child’ with a backstory.
Remember that your foster child will have to make some big adjustments. They had a different routine, they were used to a certain type of food, maybe they’ve never lived with pets or slept in their own room. Expect them to have a hard time sleeping in a new room in a new bed in a new house with people they’ve just met hours ago. Expect to be making PB&J’s for dinner and frozen chicken nuggets for breakfast. Expect tears (but hope for very few). Being supportive and kind to your foster placement is the best you can do during emotional times.
Once you’ve gotten to know and spend time with your foster kids, it’s easy to get attached to them and start to love them. Expect that it will be hard to say goodbye. Remember that you did an amazing thing for these kids, and provided them with a safe place for them to live and grow while their biological parents grew and became ready to accept their kids back into their lives. Each child that comes through your home will affect you or change you in some way. Remember all that you’ve learned. Know that you made a positive impact on these kid’s lives, whether they were in your home for two years or two weeks or any amount of time in between.
Foster parenting is a rollercoaster of emotions and events, but it’s one of the most selfless things you can do for a child. Expect to feel so many different things during the process of fostering, and expect to be changed for the better.
